On Hygiene

If I were running for president, a plank of my platform would be that anyone who is found guilty of having pissed or dripped on a public toilet seat should have to be tied down while fifty strangers piss on them. Unless they get off on that, in which case they will have to clean public toilets for five years and then be executed.

Also, “driving like a damn idiot” will be a Federal High Crime.

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